How to Forgive Yourself

By Lauren Rose Correa, March 10, 2025

We often talk about the challenges that come from offering forgiveness to those who have wronged us. But equally, if not more challenging, is the learning how to forgive yourself when you mess up. I’ve talked about my testimony of struggling with mental health. It was really hard for me to forgive myself for things that happened because of my mental health battle.

Do you feel regret over a past sin? Maybe you replay this in your mind over and over, feeling badly about what you did. It’s important to remember that God has forgiven us for sins that we have repented from, and we shouldn’t be dwelling on them any longer.

Today, self-forgiveness is much easier for me, thanks to some truths that God has instilled in my spirit. In this post, I’ll discuss some of the reasons why it’s hard to forgive ourselves, plus my advice for how to accomplish this forgiveness in our lives.

How to Forgive Yourself – Why Is It Hard to Forgive Ourselves?

Here are some of the reasons why we have a hard time offering forgiveness to ourselves.

We are perfectionists.

If you are a perfectionist, chances are you have a hard time forgiving yourself. You have high expectations of how you should behave and how you should be perceived by others. When you fall short of these expectations, you are hard on yourself.

We haven’t accepted our sin nature.

Most people think of themselves as “good people.” However, if you are a Christian, you know that the Bible says that none of us are innately good – we are actually innately sinful. If you think of yourself as good, you’ll be surprised at the ways in which you fall short of goodness.

We replay the past in our minds.

Often, we start thinking about the past, and our minds get stuck in a loop of negativity. We end up replaying our past mistakes and feeling badly about them.

We haven’t allowed ourselves to be loved in our imperfection.

Most of us want to be loved for our good qualities. But are we still loved when our bad qualities come to the surface? Do we still love ourselves when we see the bad in us?

How to Forgive Yourself

Now that we’ve identified some of the causes of not being able to forgive ourselves, here’s how to address them.

Accept that you are not perfect.

It’s important to come to an acceptance of the fact that you are not perfect, and you can’t achieve any measure of perfection. The sooner you realize this, the better!

Accept that without salvation, you are not a good person.

Without Jesus, we are dead in our sin. This is true of everyone, whether you are a murderer or whether you are goody-goody who has been a Christian your entire life. There isn’t a single one of us without sin, and our righteous acts apart from Christ are like filthy rags. The only way to do anything good is with Jesus helping us, and even then, these acts don’t save us. They are just the fruit of our free gift of salvation.

After repenting, don’t replay the past.

We need to think about our sin and reflect on it so that we feel sorrow over it and come to repentance. But once you repent of your sin, don’t replay it in your mind. God separates our sin from us, as far as the east is from the west, and we don’t need to think about it anymore once we are free from it.

Allow yourself to be loved in your imperfection.

While we fall short of perfection and we are not innately good, we are still worth loving. God loves us even in our shortcomings. Allow God to love you in your imperfection, and allow him to place believers in your life who will do the same. Realizing that you are still loved is such a healing thing!

How to Forgive Yourself – How About You?

Is there a past sin lingering in your mind that you are struggling to forgive yourself for? What steps can you take to begin the healing process and fully learn how to forgive yourself?