Fear of Man and Being Hurt by Church: My Story of Overcoming

By Lauren Rose Correa, June 20, 2025

Fear of Man: Rows of empty wooden church pews

Something I have truly struggled with in my life is fear of man. I’ve always cared a lot about how I was perceived and what people thought of me. This started in childhood and stayed with me through adulthood.

For me, my main concern was being viewed as kind and good. I always tried to treat everyone well and I wanted to be seen as a good person.

Fear of Man is a Trap

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” – Proverbs 29:25 ESV

On the surface, these characteristics might sound like a good thing. But what happens when you come face to face with your sin nature and the fact that you are not really a good person? What happens when you get canceled and everyone’s opinion of you plummets?

I’ve shared my struggle with mental health before. I attended a church where I thought I was accepted and loved. While I was experiencing an episode of psychosis, I went to church, where I was part of worship team. During worship team practice, I ran around telling everyone that we were in a cult and that they were going to wake up. This was not something I truly believed, but something I thought as a result of my psychotic episode.

Even though I tried to explain and apologize once I was back to myself, I basically got cancelled. I was asked to never come back. People were told not to reach out to me. Close friends ghosted me. Hardly anyone reached out to offer support and show concern for what I was going through. I was excommunicated from church, and everyone believed that because of what I was struggling with, I wasn’t really a Christian.

For a people pleaser, this was a crushing blow. But God stepped into my messy and painful situation and taught me to view myself the way he did: NOT a good person. NOT perfect. But still worthy of receiving love and compassion.

I Am Worthy Because God Says I Am

I learned that I don’t need to be good to be worthy of receiving compassion from other people. God offers me love and compassion in my sinful state. He believes I am worth it, even when others decide I am not. What’s more, I learned that if other people look down on me because of my struggles, it is only because they themselves haven’t understood their own sin.

God Will Stand Up For Me

“Many seek the face of a ruler, but it is from the Lord that a man gets justice.” – Proverbs 29:26 ESV

I also learned to forgive people that don’t want to be forgiven. I used to think that I had the power to change someone’s perception of me. In this situation I was powerless to do so. But this is not my burden to carry. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am worthy, that I have a relationship with God, that they are no better than me. God is going to handle all of that. God is going to stand up for me. I don’t need to carry the burden of someone else’s opinion. I can let go and trust God to fix it, choosing to see myself the way God sees me.

When the Church Hurts You

I pray that if you have ever been hurt by a church, my story helps you see that leaving church behind isn’t your only option. You can forgive and surrender the solution to the Lord. You can find a new church where people accept you in your shortcomings and where you are supported and loved.

Church is not perfect and many people have been hurt by the organization of church. But this is not a reflection of who God is or how much he loves you. Don’t abandon God just because church hurt you. He loves you so much and he wants to restore you and place you where you are loved and welcomed.