I have always loved the passage in Proverbs 31:10-31 that talks about an excellent wife, often called the Proverbs 31 woman. I think sometimes, being a Christian wife gets a bad rep. Some people think of a restrictive and boring role in a marriage where the woman is stuck in the kitchen all day cooking and cleaning. But if you read this passage, it actually paints a picture of a vibrant, dynamic woman who wears many hats and does so much to care for her family. She is creative, resourceful, enterprising, and wise. Who wouldn’t want to be all of these things?
To help you understand how the Proverbs 31 woman can be applied to you, I’m breaking it down into segments and providing an explanation of each section. This is so different than how I would normally structure a blog post, but I hope it helps you to see yourself in this passage and see the value in what you do.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
She brings good into the life of her husband and is trustworthy. This is about your relationship with your husband. Do you trust each other? Can he depend on you to fulfill your role in the relationship? Does your relationship bring good things into his life, such as joy, fulfillment, and peace?
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
This refers to her meeting her family’s needs by clothing them. You might not sew clothes for your family necessarily, but you may purchase them. This could mean careful budgeting, thrifting, and bargain hunting to provide your kids and husband with clothes.
She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
This is about meeting your families needs by feeding them. Today this often looks like meal planning, sticking to a food budget, and carefully grocery shopping to get the best foods within your budget. It also looks like being thoughtful to reduce food waste by using what you have efficiently.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
This talks about buying a field, and I think it has a few implications. She is managing the money for her household and is making purchasing decisions, deciding where to invest it. Today, this could look like making profitable investments with the family income. It could also refer to gardening and producing a harvest for her family.
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
I like what this implies – she is not a weak woman. Her tasks require physical strength, and she is able to step up to the plate.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
I think this shows that the wife is bringing an income to the household by producing her own merchandise. She is working hard, even working late, to help provide. I love this part because I think it shows that working to earn money can be a part of a woman’s role. It is not just for the men!
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
This woman is generous and cares for those in need, whether by offering food or clothing. She also might offer support and encouragement to those in spiritual need.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her household is even provided for in adverse weather. She is prepared for every season and doesn’t need to fear anything. The beds in the home are also outfitted in warmth. Being clothed in fine linen and purple is a metaphor. Purple is a luxury often reserved for royalty, and it shows that the work she does for her household makes her worthy of such a luxury.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
Her husband is known and their family has a good reputation.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
Once again, she is participating in earning income for the household. She is putting her skills to use to help her family!
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
Once again, she is strong and dignified. This goes with the purple garments she wears. “Laughing at the time to come” means she is not worried for the future because she knows her family is provided for.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
This woman is full of kindness and wisdom, which she pours out freely to others. Her spirit is generous.
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
She is a hard worker and always has something beneficial to her family in the works. Indeed, whether she is cooking, baking, sewing, shopping, or working, she is providing for her family and staying busy.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
She is worthy to be praised by her husband and children. She is more than just charming and beautiful. Her love for her family and the Lord make her worthy of praise.
When you read this passage, I hope you are generally encouraged that your work for your family is not in vain. You may not do every single thing that this Proverbs 31 woman does. Perhaps you don’t bring an income to your home, or you aren’t adept at sewing or gardening. Maybe you don’t handle your family investments.
I don’t think this passage should be a checklist that you need to follow exactly. Certainly it’s not meant to overwhelm you or make you feel less than. The heart of the passage is caring for your family and providing for them. However, it looks a little different for each person, so you don’t need to compare to others. It’s important to know that the efforts you put into raising a family are praiseworthy.
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