Have you ever wondered how to protect your peace? After experiencing a mental health crisis, I became aware of my need to guard my own peace. I wasn’t careful about the thoughts, friendships, and activities that I allowed in my life. My life was anything but peaceful, and I found myself in need of an overhaul. Over time, I have learned how to guard my mind, heart, and emotions. Today I am living in a hard-fought peace that I am so thankful for.
Are you struggling to find peace in your life? Are you in constant disagreement with your spouse, your friends, or your family? Are you emotionally drained and overloaded? Is your thought life plagued by negative thoughts that you can’t seem to control?
If you are seeking inner peace, it’s important to examine your life and make changes. Here are some helpful tips you can follow that will help you find and protect your peace.
Negative thoughts can truly rob us of our inner peace. If you struggle with negative or even intrusive thoughts that are stealing your joy, examine the source. Are you consuming tv shows with violence, dark themes, or scary plot lines? Are you spending too much time on social media? Are you friends with someone who is constantly feeding you negativity?
Identify things that can contribute to negative thoughts and eliminate them from your life. If you are wrestling with intrusive thoughts, here are some tips for combatting intrusive thoughts (but I also recommend talking to a therapist).
I used to entertain friendships with just about anyone. I was very open and accepting, but this really turned into a negative thing for me. My inner circle was comprised of people who ended up showing that they didn’t really value my friendship. I was not at all discerning about my relationships. I even ended up in a friendship with a narcissist that ended really badly.
It’s important to be discerning about your friendships. You only need a few close friends, and they should be people of good character who share similar morals and treat you well. Then you can have casual friendships, and these can be a lot more lenient. I’ve found that my desire to be friends with everyone is not necessarily a bad one, as long as the friendships are more casual and have good boundaries. If the other person is pushing for a closer relationship than you want to have or crossing boundaries, the friendship may not be healthy. But if there is respect for each other’s boundaries and the friendship is based on positive things, you can really enjoy having casual friendships with lots of people.
Part of having healthy relationships is setting the right boundaries with your friends. As an introvert, my boundaries protect my alone time and enable me to be better present when I am spending time with friends. I have certain rules that help with this, such as only scheduling one social activity per weekend, not picking up the phone if I’m too tired to talk, and only having a few close friends that really uplift me, rather than ones who bring negativity into my life.
Sometimes we might feel guilty about setting boundaries, but they actually enable us to be better friends. They ensure that when we do make time for friends, they get the best of us. I used to let people cross my boundaries all the time, and I found myself drained. Now that I enforce them, I feel much more peaceful and energized.
Taking care of your own needs should come before caring for others. You may have heard the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” and it’s true. Self care involves getting the rest you need and making time for activities that refresh your energy.
For me, working on this blog, getting some alone time, spending time with my husband and daughter, and watching my favorite shows are all acts of self care. For you it could be a hobby you adore, spending time with family and friends, or going for a walk.
Don’t take on so many activities that you are overwhelmed. You should take on only what you can reasonably give your best effort to. Taking on too much dilutes your ability to give your best effort and will also take away your energy.
Even if the activities you are taking on are good ones, it’s important to manage your energy. I once went to a church that heavily encouraged volunteering, to the point where it caused some to burn out. It’s better to do a few things well than a lot of things in a mediocre way.
Is one of these points standing out as something you need to implement in your life? Perhaps you need to establish better boundaries or start saying no to draining activities. Think about steps you can take today that will help you better protect your peace.
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