An online lifestyle magazine for Christian women
Is a friend of yours struggling with mental health? Are you wondering how to help a friend with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or something else? When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I lost a lot of friendships. Close friends misunderstood what I was going through and ghosted me. Some took things I said while experiencing psychosis very seriously and got angry at me. And some, I think, didn’t know how to be supportive, so they quietly disappeared.
This was a challenging time in my life, but through it I discovered who my true friends were. Some of the people that are in my life now really came through for me in a big way and showed me how much they care. I am thankful that they viewed my friendship as worth fighting for during the lowest moments of my life.
If you have a friend struggling with mental health, offering support might seem overwhelming. Maybe you don’t know how to offer support or you feel like you won’t be able to do it in the right way. Don’t let that stop you from being a good friend to them.
Here are some tips for how to support your friend who is struggling with mental health. These tips are simple and easy to put into action. I hope this helps you understand that your support is so valuable and can really make a difference!
The most important aspect of offering your support is to be compassionate. Don’t go judging them for what they are struggling with. Don’t think you are better than them for not having the same issues. Don’t condescend when you talk to them. Recognize that they are as worthy of love and compassion as you and treat them as such. If you are secretly feeling less than compassionate, it will come across in how you treat them.
It’s important to go into a mental health situation with a willingness to listen. You need to build an understanding of what they are going through so you can empathize with them and offer your support. Engage with them, listen deeply to what they are saying, and make it your goal to develop an understanding of their experience with their mental health.
Along with a willingness to listen, be willing to put your advice aside, unless they are asking you for it. Something my husband had to learn with me is that sometimes, I’m not looking for him to fix things. Often, the real solution is one that takes time and isn’t an instant fix. I’m usually just looking for someone to hear me out and empathize.
Sometimes, we are uncomfortable sitting with the discomfort of others and we want to solve it for them. But this isn’t what they need. They need us to sit with them in their struggle and offer support. There is a time and a place for advice, but make sure it is what they want to receive at that moment. My husband now asks me, “Can I give you advice, or do you just want me to listen?”
Be patient and let your friend work through their struggles in their own timing. Don’t try to rush them to overcome a struggle or get past tough emotions at lightning speed. This means allowing them to cry, allowing them to process at their own speed, and not expecting them to be okay right away.
If you are wondering how to support your friend through a mental health struggle, ask them! They may know best what they need. Do they want advice? Do they want a listening ear? Do they need some space because they aren’t ready to share? Let them tell you what kind of friend they need at that moment.
When your friend expresses their emotions and experiences, be sure to be validating. Don’t try to downplay the struggle and don’t try to act like they should feel differently than they do. Phrases like, “That does sound difficult. I can see why you are struggling with that!” can go a long way.
If your friend trusts you with a mental health struggle, don’t betray that trust. Mental health issues are private unless the person decides they want to share it. Don’t share their struggle with anyone else, even if you think you have a good reason, like asking them to pray. Treat these struggles with confidentiality and allow your friend to choose when and how they share it.
You don’t have to be your friend’s therapist and be there for every emotional up and down, especially if it’s draining you. Set some boundaries around when and how you offer support. This can be an act of love, because you are ensuring you don’t run out of the energy you need to be a good friend. Just make sure you set those boundaries in a loving way and that you express your care for that person when doing so.
Lauren Magazine is an online lifestyle magazine for Christian women.
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