Are there fellow believers in your life that you are at odds with? Have you had a falling out with someone and they are no longer a part of your life? Have you done something that caused hurt to someone – or has someone else hurt you? You may not think that these things matter to God, but they absolutely do. Especially when it comes to fellow Christians, God cares about how we are getting along, and it makes him unhappy to see us fighting or hating each other. Reconciling in Christ is important to him – and it should be important to you, too.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” – Matthew 5:23-24 NIV
These verses are the words of Jesus himself. How we get along with others is so important to him that he does not want us offering gifts to God until we make things right. Whether you need to forgive or be forgiven, it’s important that you do your part to be reconciled.
As believers, we are all part of one body. We all serve the same purpose and the same Jesus. When we are at odds, it’s like the parts of the body are fighting against each other. How can a body function when it isn’t in harmony with itself? We can’t let our hurt fester and cause us to separate from each other. Unity is so important, and we ought to pursue it no matter what.
What’s more is that when God’s children are fighting with each other, it truly hurts him. If you’re a parent, seeing your children getting along makes your heart full with joy. Watching them be at odds is painful. When we refuse to fix things with other believers, we are grieving God.
Sometimes, it is not in our power to reconcile with someone else. I’ve told my story many times on my blog, and I won’t repeat it all now. When I had a falling out with folks at my church because of my battle with mental illness, I tried to reach out to friends and make things right. However, many people simply ghosted me and never responded when I reached out. In this case, I was unable to pursue reconciliation.
It’s challenging when you want to make things right but the other people involved won’t give you the chance. In this case, it’s okay to stop trying and realize that it’s out of your hands. When this happens, go to God and ask him for his help to work forgiveness on your part. Don’t harden your heart toward them, and don’t let go of the desire to make things right. Remain in prayer for the others involved and ask God to be working on their hearts and their desire to forgive and fix things.
While forgiveness should always be offered when someone has wronged us, there are times when it’s not healthy to reconcile. If the other person isn’t really sorry or hasn’t really changed, you may not want to let them back in your life in the same capacity as before. If they were abusive physically or verbally, you don’t need to put yourself in harms way just to reconcile.
When real change has occurred in their heart, that’s when you should explore repairing the relationship. But if they remain the same and will just do the same things over again, you don’t have to let them back in your life.
However, you can still do your best to be at peace with them, especially if they are someone you will be running into often. You should always try, when it’s in your power, to have peace with everyone around you.
Is there someone in your life that comes to mind when you think of reconciliation? Perhaps you’ve never asked for forgiveness for something. Maybe you try not to think about this person because you know you did something against them.
Or maybe someone has asked for your forgiveness, and you haven’t been willing to give it to them. Whoever is coming to your mind right now, ask God to show you how you can approach this person and make things right.
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