Some days, I struggle with impatience when dealing with motherhood. It’s easy to get frustrated when my kids cause me to change my plans or make it hard to get things done. But I realized lately the root of my impatience. It’s the fact that I’m holding on to my own agenda. Allow me to explain…
When I was younger, I used to struggle in conversations with other women – especially groups of women. The conversations would flit from one topic to the next. I felt I could barely keep up with the flow of things.
With time, I learned that the reason I couldn’t keep up with these chats was because I brought an agenda to the conversation. I usually had something specific I wanted to talk about. The conversation would often get away from a place where I could bring this up naturally.
Now, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with having something specific you want to talk about with your friends. But sometimes, it’s best to save this for conversations that are less casual or that are one on one. You can let your friend know you have something specific to share and then steer the conversation.
Getting along with a group requires flexibility. You need to be able to follow the flow of the conversation – wherever it may lead.
The concept of needing to let go of my agenda was just recently brought to my attention again. This time, it was in my parenting. I struggle sometimes to be patient with my daughter when she is disobeying or acting rebellious. I also get frustrated when she tries to chat with me when she’s supposed to be going to sleep.
Tonight I was snuggling with her to help her fall asleep. During this time, I was praying in my head for more patience. In that moment, I felt God leading me to see that the true root of my impatience. It is the agenda that I am carrying throughout my day.
I always have a list of things in my head that need to get done that day. When my daughter doesn’t obey and my internal schedule is affected, I get impatient. Also, my “me” time is usually at night after bedtime, so I often rush through the bedtime routine so I can get to my break.
Similar to what I learned about conversation, parenting requires flexibility and being able to go with the flow.
As my daughter chatted her nighttime thoughts to me, I realized I would be much happier if I just trusted that God would give me time to get things done. If I let go of my own schedule and let God direct my day, I would be able to be more present with my children and enjoy them more.
God has always given me time to get things done – whether it’s during nap time, my mom offers to watch the kids for a bit, or after bedtime. I need to be willing to trust him with this rather than hope that everything will go exactly according to my own schedule.
Are you letting God direct your time when it comes to motherhood, or are you holding onto your own agenda? I challenge you to trust him in this area. Let him determine how your time is used and see if it doesn’t bring you more peace and less anxiety or frustration.
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